23
12/09
02:02
relationship help…?
My problem: I am engaged, living with my fiancee’. We’ve lived together now since January 2008. Since we moved in, I’ve held 2 jobs and lost both of them. You see,…ideally, I don’t want to be working for anyone but me. Currently, I’m in the midst of putting together a very innovative online business set to launch next year, with some very bright (successful) minds behind it. The issue I’m (we’re) having is mostly money related. My fiancee’ has placed blame on me for us having to live off of her student loans (she’s in the teaching program), unemployment and credit cards since we moved in together. Yes, this is a problem. I’m working very hard to solve it by taking employ somewhere else as I build this business. The biggest issue I have, although, isn’t about the money – yet the lack of support I’m getting from her. She internalizes everything and doesn’t talk to me. The way I solve issues is by talking them out and she does the opposite. The larger issue as that as I sit back and think about everything happening, I realize that we don’t have the much in common. We met online (eHarmony) about 1.5 years ago. Initially, when we moved in, things were fine. This financial situation has made life extremely hard and she continues to place blame on me. So here’s my problem. I don’t know what I should do with all of this. When I say "all of this", I mean my relationship. I love her, yes. I care for her, yes. I want to be with her, yes…but not like this. She doesn’t seem to even want to try to support me through this hard times – mentally, emotionally, etc… On top of all of this, my parents are moving away from the area where we live. This makes it even harder. All of her family is in the area, and only my parents have been here. I think with them leaving it’s making life even more difficult than it already has been. I keep having doubts about out relationship and if I’m making the right decision. We’re complete opposites in every regard. She’s trying to become a teacher and very introverted, shy, etc… I’m a budding entrepreneur in the making, extremely extroverted and quite talkative. She’s 24 and I’m 25. We don’t like the same foods (for the most part), definitely not the same music, etc… I’m searching for commonalities, yet, as this situation gets harder and harder I find it very difficult and more of a challenge. Please help me out with being objective. I’m really not sure what to do and how to move forward. Your friends and family don’t always understand you (or the situation) the way you need them to. That’s why I’m here 
. Appreciate the help, in advance.
upon reading this I am having a hard time seeing how you matched on eharmony with the lack in common interests. but when you met her and got to know her there was something about her that caught your eye and got your heart involved. being an outsider looking in and understanding there are two sides to every story I would suggest you find what it was that you love about this woman and build on that. Relationships are work, there are no easy ones as you are both different people. Knowbody is perfect and you have to love the imperfections right along with the perfections. as for the financial issues (and being self employed myself) you must have another source of income to maintain your household until your self employment can meet and exceed that income. With the economy the way it is today I would suggest picking up extra employment until you can support yourself and her with your online business. I know it may sound silly using an accronym for help but you have to K.I.S.S it. (Keep It Simple Stupid) and it works with any walk of life. if it is finances that are the root of your current problems don’t be on the defensive, fix it! if it were your vehicle that was broke down would you fight and argue about not wanting to fix it? chances are you would fix it! Most relationship problems stem from finances and lack of communication, try to keep your lines of communication open and show her you are trying by getting a new job so there are two incomes.
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Lauren
December 23, 2009
7:43 am
well if u r asking urself this now don’t get married talk to her and see what she has to say she prob doesnt know that u feel this way its tough living in a relationship but hey thats life 4 ya
References :
CowboysFan
December 23, 2009
8:33 am
if you have ANY doubts you guys should break it off. If my fiance’ was thinking he didn’t want to be with me, i would want to know and we could either fix the problem or leave each other. she shouldn’t blame everything on you, times are hard and sometimes you cant do much about it. but money is the root of all evil and i read an article the other day about how that’s what pulls people apart and the leading cause of divorce. so i would tell her either lets talk this out, or you have to go. just give it to her Straight. i know its hard but coming from a girl that’s how i would want to be told i guess.
References :
Renae R
December 23, 2009
8:55 am
A good relationship is supporting each other with your own desires and career opps.Its not a 50/50 anymore its a full 100%. Maybe you should just come out and ask her if she really wants a relationship togther as a couple not all one sided.Good Luck
References :
Shawn
December 23, 2009
9:05 am
Say dude, I know this is a bit off topic but i’m also looking for a online business for myself, if you can, send me a email and we can talk more about it. I could use some ideas on how to get started, ect.
As for your girl dude, I say this. I know you love her, but if she can’t support you through ruff times (a girls most shining moment), then I wouldn’t be with her. That just means in a sense, she is using you, in a degree.
You need someone who going to stick with you through thick and thin. Those are the people that really love you and a support spouse could really get you far in life. If she can’t provide that, then I would move on, inspite how hard it would be.
Also, you guys don’t have hardly anything in common, so I would look for a girl where you guys share interests in, she could help you with your business, you know?
Anyway, send me a email if you can. Thanks.
References :
rodeoclick
December 23, 2009
9:24 am
upon reading this I am having a hard time seeing how you matched on eharmony with the lack in common interests. but when you met her and got to know her there was something about her that caught your eye and got your heart involved. being an outsider looking in and understanding there are two sides to every story I would suggest you find what it was that you love about this woman and build on that. Relationships are work, there are no easy ones as you are both different people. Knowbody is perfect and you have to love the imperfections right along with the perfections. as for the financial issues (and being self employed myself) you must have another source of income to maintain your household until your self employment can meet and exceed that income. With the economy the way it is today I would suggest picking up extra employment until you can support yourself and her with your online business. I know it may sound silly using an accronym for help but you have to K.I.S.S it. (Keep It Simple Stupid) and it works with any walk of life. if it is finances that are the root of your current problems don’t be on the defensive, fix it! if it were your vehicle that was broke down would you fight and argue about not wanting to fix it? chances are you would fix it! Most relationship problems stem from finances and lack of communication, try to keep your lines of communication open and show her you are trying by getting a new job so there are two incomes.
References :
self experience. if you need to talk you can IM me my SN is Rodeopixy