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15 12/09
01:15

How can I end this paragraph?

Anyone have a suggestion?

Long before entering into real estate field, I had the mindset of an entrepreneur. As early as twelve years old, I can remember earning money through numerous businesses of my own. In the eighth grade, I earned money by selling candy to my fellow classmates. I invested money that my parents gave me for doing work around the house, to buy candy at the local dollar store, and sold it to double my money. It was a great start because I knew kids my age loved candy, and I was sure to sell out every day. Selling candy was a great business at the time, but I was looking to earn a lot more money, which led me to my next business; a landscaping business. I would earn money all year around by raking leaves and mowing lawns. The landscaping business was great; however, it was too much labor involved. A few months ago I started an online business. At the time I had a part time job, but was looking to increase my income. My inventory included videos games, used textbooks, and shoes. I had a profitable beginning, but it wasn’t long before I encountered my first loss. I listed a few pairs of shoes on EBay, but they sat for nearly a week before I got an offer. My listing was soon to expire, but I received an offer that I quickly accepted. The next day I shipped the shoes, and anxiously checked my account awaiting the payment. Something was wrong because the payment was never wired to my account. Becoming suspicious of foul play, I called Pay Pal to see what the problem was, and it turned out that I was a victim of a common Pay Pal scam. I was upset of the fact that some one took advantage of me, but I viewed it as a learning experience. Sure, I took a huge loss in the beginning, but it was a great learning experience.

Tie it back to the fact that the mindset of an entrepreneur would not allow you to give up so easily. Also, just a side note, try to take out some of the instances of the word "business" in the beginning. It’s a little overwhelming.


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